To the Mom Who Wants it All

The babe has rocked our world…

and it’s not just the late nights and the early mornings.

Everything has changed.

It’s no longer me and Miss A, hanging out all day….just her and I.  I now have double duty.  Double laundry, double dishes, double messes…..but only half as much time.

I love being a mom.  I love blogging.  I caught the blogging bug early on when starting this little ol’ blog.  I love it sooo much.  If I had all day to myself you better believe that I would be doing something relating to the blog.  Maybe it’s because I already love to craft and create that blogging seems to effortlessly be apart of my life.

The problem is that I don’t have all day long to blog, with diapers to change, people to feed, errands to run, meals to plan and prepare and clean up.  I have a really long to do list….every day.

Let me be clear. I am not claiming to be the all perfect mom.

I hate to even admit this….
…there have been some days that I blogged more than I spent with the girls…

not good.

I want it all.

I want to be a able to do those things that make me feel like a person. Things that make me feel like I have something to offer this world other than clean bums and rested and fed children… let’s not even discuss the lack of a clean house.

I want it all.

I want to be able to sleep in and take long showers.  I want to be able to take a nap during the day if I want to and eat a bowl of ice cream in the living room… instead of the closet, trying to keep the ravenous beasts from eating it all!

I have been feeling the control slip away from my fingers. Autopilot has kicked in and I am becoming numb to the daily routine…

Went to bed late, up early, read emails, Miss A up, she gets to watch a show, the babe up, breakfast time, play time until nap time, work on some blogging, play time, lunch time….don’t worry about cleaning up. Nap time over, play time until daddy gets home….dinner and bedtime routine….either crash out from exhaustion or blog until I crash out.  Next morning start again.

I needed to regain control, to take my life back. I wrote down a few things that were bothering me and here is my conclusion in case you find yourself or know someone in a similar situation.

1- Take a night off.

You can never make rational decisions under stress.  For the mom who wants it all…all she needs right now is a break to clear her head and remember the good things in life.  You better believe by the time she gets back from her night off she will be missing the kids like crazy….even though they drive her bonkers.

2- Stop comparing…right now! 

My evil other side is this voice that tells me I can’t, that I won’t ever.  Don’t believe everything you see on social media…don’t believe most of it.  You know those pretty pictures of my house…you better believe that there is a pile of junk just on the edge of the image… stop comparing, right now!

3- Write down your goals.

You say you want it all….what exactly do you want? Have you taken the time to write it down..to make it concrete?  Don’t just write down…”I want to be a millionaire.” What are your mini goals that will help you get moving in the right direction?  The more specific, more actionable items you can think of, the better.

4-Realize that there is a time and a season for everything

Your kids won’t be babies forever, even though they have been their entire lives… Every mom tells me that she wishes she would have enjoyed the young kids more…yada yada yada… That mom must have a serious case of rosy retrospection because lady, being a mom is tough! Please don’t say that to me now…..It’s not helping.  But really, they grow up so fast.  Pretty soon you will have more time…I promise.

5-Plan one night out a week/month

It’s ok to take time for you. As mothers we are always looking out for the other guy, kid or baby.  Getting a shower is literally the last thing on your to-do-list.  You smell that awful stench coming from the trash only to discover to your horror that the smell is your arm pits…I get it. Find something you like, a women’s volleyball league, dinner date with the girls, bunco night, craft night, spa night…just get out on a regular basis.  This is also a great time to network with other ladies who have the same dreams and aspirations as you and could be a great way to start and stay motivated.

6-Make a step in the right direction toward your goals 

Even though you are in the thick of it now you can still take steps in the right direction.  Maybe this means you can only read that how-to book  a couple times a week or maybe it means that you can only blog 1-2 times a week. Maybe it means that you really can find a babysitter for a couple hours a week so you can work on your thing…the thing you want to do… I don’t know what you thing is but make a step, even small, toward the direction you want to go.

I have hit the reset button and honed in more on what is important. I know that this is just a phase of my life….I don’t want any regrets and so I am refocuses while still making steps, no matter how small, toward my goals in life.

I still want it all….and I believe that I can, just taking it one day at a time.  Remembering that there is a season for everything!

 If you are the mom who wants is all, what have you doing to still make progress toward your goals?