Part 1- Infertility Journey (you are here)
Part 2- Option 1 or option 2
Part 3- When all you can do is cry
Part 4- Just a little sting
Part 5- Love at first sight
Part 6- The silver lining
My hands are shaking as I write this…
You see, I have a secret.
It is a secret that very few people know. I don’t know why I haven’t told very many people. I guess it is because its personal, and personal stories can be hard to tell.
I feel like the time has come for me to share. Maybe, hopefully, it can help someone else.
It was a June afternoon in 2010. We were living in sunny southern California. We enjoyed going to the beach and Disney Land. We loved that we could go swimming in the pool in February, especially since we were used to the cold Utah winters.
It was amazing.
The years slipped away, as time always does. We found ourselves in the middle of 2007. We had made a decision that we wanted to start our family. I was excited at the prospect of a baby and having children. It was uncharted territory and I was thrilled.As 2008 rolled around and there were still no signs of a pregnancy, I was starting to get concerned.By 2009 I started to feel that something was wrong. Looking back now, I should have realized sooner that something wasnt right.
It was one of those times where I sort of knew something was wrong but I didn’t want to find out what it was. Out of fear or laziness, I am not quite sure, but it took me a long time to seek help.
It was almost like continuing on how we were was just easier. From what I know now, it definitely would have been easier to do nothing. But had we done nothing we would have stayed in the same place. Not moving forward was no longer an option for me.
I went into the doctor for some tests. They did a plethora of work on me and found no apparent reason or diagnosis that would warrant a problem with getting pregnant. They said, “Just keep trying.”
I was confused and upset as to why my desires were not being granted. I never ever in my wildest dreams thought that getting pregnant would be difficult. I have no family history of any issues. It was hard to say the least.I remember feeling empty and sad every time Mother’s Day rolled around. I felt hollow.
It seemed in my foggy eyes that ALL of my friends, neighbors, and women at the grocery store were either expecting or had a newborn.
People would ask questions like, “So Shonee, when are you and Mr. Main going to have kids, it’s about time isnt it?” I would just smile and say “Oh, some day,” biting my tongue.
What I really wanted to do was give them a lecture about how we had been trying to get pregnant for years, and since I didn’t know them very well they shouldn’t be asking me questions like that…
I was hurting and I expressed it through anger and closing myself off.
By 2010, my depression was at an all time low. I was working and going to school. This helped me to function day-to-day. I was going through the motions. During the first few months of 2010, I was so deep in depression that my memory is fuzzy. It all seemed like a blur.
Still to this day my memory of that time is sort of foggy.
After I had gotten checked and it seemed that all was normal, we didn’t know what to do next. We went back to doing nothing, floating though life. Staying the same.A few more months passed and Mr. Main decided that maybe he should go in, just in case, to get checked out. I think he thought it might make me feel better.
He went in for his exam and had a bunch of tests. One of which included a cup (not for pee-pee). Poor Mr. Main!
Seeing that he wanted to do everything possible to find the answer to our problem did make me feel good.
This brings me back to that beautiful summer afternoon in June 2010. I was at work. I was anxiously awaiting the call from the doctor’s office. They were to call and give us the results from Mr. Main’s appointment.
The call came in.
Like it’s stuck?
How do you know?
What are we supposed to do now?”I had a million questions but my head was swimming. I was having a hard time verbalizing my thoughts. I stayed at work but was a zombie the rest of the day.When Mr. Main and I saw each other later that night, we were both in total shock to say the least.
It was at this point that we started to discuss possible reasons. We realized our fertility problems were because of a surgery many years earlier.
I guess I just said it:
We. Have. INFERTILITY.
One example of Mr. Main being tough is when he was 15, he worked at the local cheese factory. He was required to lift 100 lb blocks of cheese. Back then he probably only weighed 100 lbs himself. It was straining.
Unfortunately there was a cost.
The cost was two inguinal hernias…. In 1999, Mr. Main had surgery to repair the hernias. After surgery, his body tried to repair itself by making the wound strong so that the likelihood of another injury would be decreased.
Scar tissue.
His body made tons and tons of scar tissue. The scar tissue was so thick that it completely blocked his vas deferens, giving him an accidental vasectomy.
At this point, we were both confused. I was sort of relieved. Up until now I thought that I was the reason for our issues. Now it become an “us” problem.
Healing…..
At the end of June 2010, we decided to get a little puppy from the pound. Or rather I decided. It was sort of by accident I suppose. We found out that we had infertility the first of June and by the end of June we had HER. I didn’t realize at the time, but getting her was seriously my saving grace.
My memory since getting her is clearer. I started to pull myself out of the pit I had gotten myself into.
Let me introduce you to Mazie!!
She is a fun loving puppy, going on 5 years old!! I thought that she would grow out of here puppy stage but she is just as fun loving and happy as she was as a puppy.
When we first got her, I worked with her every day to teach her obedience and discipline. This in turn taught me patience. It was not my time for children. She became my running companion, my lap buddy while watching television, and my baby. She was sweet and loving, exactly what I needed at the time. Being able to get her was actually a little miracle in and of itself.
If you can believe it…
These are the exact flowers that Mr. Main got me for our anniversary! ooooohhhh!!!Let me tell you a story about these flowers real fast….Its honestly true, too!!The night of our anniversary, round 9pm I came walking down the hall headed toward the living room. I noticed Mr. Main coming in from outside with a pretty bouquet of flowers.
I said “Wow those are pretty, are they for me?!!” …..I was sort of surprised.
He relies “Ya, happy anniversary!” ……crickets…..crickets…..
At least we both forgot about it. I forgot a little bit more than he did….I guess.
I hope he still likes me.. 🙂
Aren’t they pretty though!!
This is not the end of our Infertility journey. 🙂 I plan on having a series of posts that will include more of our story. I didn’t want to overwhelm you!!
Be sure to check back soon as I will sharing more soon!!
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To continue to story head over here to read part 2.
Hawthorne & Main is all about finding your style for your space! It should be a reflection of you! 
Wow so touching and honest, well I wish you both the best wherever that road leads you. Best of luck and much continued growth, love and happiness on your journey together 🙂
Thanks Mari! Be sure to check back soon. I will be sharing the rest of the story!
I am MOORE JULIET from Australia, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don't know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great spell caster who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this spell caster Dr.Sam on his email after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via email: miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam. You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. my blog post: http://moorejuliet.blogspot.com He is a good spell caster
Posted by MooJul on 5/26/15 2:58 PM
I am MOORE JULIET from Australia, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don't know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great man who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this Dr.Sam on his email after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via email: miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam. You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. my blog post: http://moorejuliet.blogspot.com He is a good
What a journey. Beautiful story, can't wait for the rest.
Thanks Evelyn!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story! My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half, and are in the early stages of getting medical attention to try to figure out why nothing's happening. Although I'd never wish infertility on anyone else, it really does help me to not feel so alone when other people share their experiences with it. So thank you for having the courage to share yours! I wish you all the best and can't wait to read the rest of your story!
It really does help to have a support system. It has been very healing for me to share!! I wish you guys the best and hope that is all turns out good for you!!
Posted by MooJul on 5/26/15 2:58 PM
I am MOORE JULIET from Australia, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don't know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great man who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this Dr.Sam on his email after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via email: miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam. You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. my blog post: http://moorejuliet.blogspot.com He is a good
I'm so glad you decided to share your story! I recently decided to share my secret of suffering from infertility for the last 5 years, and I am so glad it is out in the open. There are so many of us dealing with this same unfortunate issue, and it's important to support one another. You can check out my post at http://www.sparklesofsunshine.com/infertility. I'll be following along with your story and cheering you on along the way!
Thank you Christie!! It seems to be one of those things you don't think people ever deal with. Once I stated sharing it seems that there are quite a few girls out there dealing with similar issues. It has been very healing for me share. Thanks for your comment!!
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You're very brave to share such a personal story with us.
Hey Erlene!! Thanks.
hello everyone, i am here to share my testimony on how i conceived my baby. i have been married to my husband for 18years without no issue. my husband has been tested OK, i too have been tested. but no issue. i had problems with my in-laws even my husband started to have new affairs aside your marriage. it was a very terrible thing to bear. i became a laughing stock among my pear, i prayed and fasted and nothing happened. i was now seen as always unhappy. after many medical treatment and there is no way. i took it as i was born barren and i accepted every challenge that comes my way. i was even ready to pack out of my marital home and stay on my own because my husband was not given me any attention that i needed from him. i decided to focus on my job and try to live happy on my own.
on this faithful day, i decided to check the net for updates on healthy living and i came across a story of a man who Dr EDIONWE helped his wife to conceive a baby. i decided to put a try because this has been my greatest problem in life. today i am a proud mom. words will not be enough to explained what this man did for me. he casted a pregnancy spell on me and i noticed i was pregnant on the 7th day after the spell. i am a happy mother, the pride of my family, a miracle in my town. i know there is someone in same condition and you feel there is no way. i urge you to contact him via email edionwesolutiontemple@gmail.com. This is the solution to every single mother around the globe. distance is not a barrier, he will surely make your dreams come trough. contact him today via email: edionwesolutiontemple@gmail.com. you want your lover back or any other miracle in your life, contact him today so the world can be a better place to live. bye!!!
wow!! So glad that you were able to get help!! Thanks for sharing!
I am so glad you decided to share your secret. My husband and I are currently struggling with infertility. I am undergoing a lot of tests, and possibly even surgery. It took me a long time to finally reach out for help too, mostly just because I was scared to know the truth. It's amazing that once you take the time to get help and start talking about it, how many other couples are facing the same thing. And even some that have happy endings 🙂 I look forward to reading more about your story Shonee!
I totally understand that the unknown is so scary. Almost not knowing is better. Hang in there and just know that we can chat anytime!! I hope the best for you guys!!
Thanks for sharing. We went through infertility for the first 5 years of marriage (similar story to yours) and had a miracle surgery that worked (the chances were slim). Thanks for having the courage to share your story.
Hey Havalah!! That is so great that you guys were able get a surgery that worked!! It has been so healing for me to share!!
Thanks for sharing. We went through infertility for the first 5 years of marriage (similar story to yours) and had a miracle surgery that worked (the chances were slim). Thanks for having the courage to share your story.
Posted by MooJul on 5/26/15 2:58 PM
I am MOORE JULIET from Australia, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don't know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great man who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this Dr.Sam on his email after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via email: miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam. You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. my blog post: http://moorejuliet.blogspot.com He is a good
Thank you for sharing your story. Beautifully written.
Thanks beth!!
My name is Camille bruno Valdez my partner and I have been trying for a baby for over two years now, We were going to a fertility clinic for about 5 months before somebody told us to contact this spell caster who is so powerful, We contacted him at this email; arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com , for him to help us, then we told him our problem, he told us that we will either conceive in February 2014 or March 2014,but after two years of trying we were at a point where we were willing to try anything. And I'm glad we came to Dr Dahiru, Because his pregnancy spell cast put us at ease, and I honestly believe him, and his gods really helped us as well, I am thankful for all he has done. contact him via email: arewaspecialistttemple@gmail.com if you are trying to get a baby or want your lover back. he has powers to do it, he has done mine,
wow! That is so great that you were able to get help!! Congrats!
I want to share a great testimony on this website on how great Priest Babaka help me in falling pregnant,me and my husband have been trying to have a baby for over 4years,but they where no luck so we decided to contact the family doctor and after all the test have been done,he said to us that my fallopian tube is not functioning.then one day i was in the office when a friend of mine who have the same problem with me, fall pregnant after she contacted Priest Babaka .she directed me to him and when i contacted him through his email and he did the purification on the pregnancy spell and in 2weeks time i was feeling some how and i went to meet the family doctor who told me that i am pregnant.if you know that you have a similar problem like this, or any fertility issue and you want to be pregnant you can contact Priest Babaka via Email:babaka.wolf@gmail.com
Posted by MooJul on 5/26/15 2:58 PM
I am MOORE JULIET from Australia, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don't know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great man who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this Dr.Sam on his email after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via email: miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam. You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. my blog post: http://moorejuliet.blogspot.com He is a good