Today is the big day!
The day that I have been looking forward to since January 15, 2015. Why that date…?
Way back in 2012, when we finally decided to take the financial plunge and give IVF a try, we actually got pregnant! It was a wonderful time. It felt like a dream. I spent countless hours writing countless lists of names down. Knowing it was on us to pick the perfect name.
The pregnancy was a breeze. The baby was perfect in every way with all her fingers and all her toes.
After she was born we were not really looking ahead and thinking about other children. We had longed for so long to have just one that we were content.
Time passed……as usual… and we started to feel like it was time to go through IVF again.
In case you don’t know, IVF is a little bit pricey. Since we had to get out a loan for the first round we knew that we would not be able to get out another loan until the first was paid off.
Mr. Main graciously accepted overtime work so that we could pay off the loan faster and by January 2015 we did it!!
Then I got cold feet……
I would hear these thoughts in my mind:
“It worked the first time, yes, but it probably won’t work again…..”
” I am not a very good mom, do I deserve another baby…..” (this one makes me the most sad)
“do I really have time for another baby?”
So we waited……
Have you ever bought a car…..?
When you decide on the make and model that you want to purchase its almost like the entire world read your mind and is now driving the exact…. same…. car….. am I right?
This is sort of how the second round of IVF has gone. It was rolling around in my head for a bit. I started to see and hear about everyone who was pregnant. I just needed that little push to say
“ok, let’s do it again”
Just like that we were again on the roller coaster…..
I had my first consultation at the end of June and now July 30th I am going in to hopefully get pregnant.
I am beyond scared….
I actually try not to think about too hard because the tears are so close to the surface.
I have put a lot of time, energy and of course money into this. At the end of the day though I am a very religious person. I will take the outcome of this no matter what it is a better, stronger person. I know my life is in God’s hands and that brings me peace.
Today I will be heading back to the Dr’s office for the transplant. They will transplant 2 embryos in hopes that one will take. I will take a blood test in a couple of weeks and let you know what the results are. Thank you so so much to everyone for your kind words and well wishes.
This little bookshelf is so fun and I love this quote. Let’s all be a little bit more brave and take on some of those adventures, what ever they may be!!
Next week I am going to give you a tutorial on how I did this Target Room Essentials bookshelf hack. For now here are some of the pretty pictures!
One last thing!! Me and some of my blogging buddies are hosting a $100 Paypal Cash Giveaway!! How cool….right!?
Scroll down to the bottom to enter!!
Annie @Maebells says
You are so brave for posting this! I have a friend who has really struggled with infertility and she feels so alone. I sent this to her to help give her some encouragement!
Hawthorne & Main says
Hey Annie! Thank you. I was really debating about sharing this journey with others. I decided to share it because I felt like I could help others, even if it is just through sharing my story and letting others know that they are not alone. I would love to chat with your friend, have her email me!!
Jenna says
Thanks so much for sharing such a personal story….be brave, girl! Fingers and toes crossed and lots of prayers for you!
Hawthorne & Main says
Thank you Jenna! Truly! We are excited to find out next week if I really am pregnant!
Things to do says
Thank you so much for the nice article. I hope to see more updates from you!
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