This week marks one year since we did our last IVF cycle. So much has happened in this past year. We have gone through the whole IVF process twice. Each time not knowing if it would work, wondering if we would be blessed with a baby. Wondering if we should gamble and only pay for one cycle, or play it safe and pay for two…because that’s just how they do it.
It’s unfair.
The up’s and down’s of infertility are so frustrating to begin with….then the money on top of it is enough to drive anyone bonkers.
Luckily, and I pray every night in thanks and gratitude, in two tries we have two girls…two beautiful (sometimes naughty) girls. They are my life.
(July 31st 2015- Transfer Day )
I was looking at the baby the other day and this sheer panic rushed across my body. The type that stops you dead in your tracks and the goose bumps form on your arms. I had the thought that this would be my last baby.
The tears welled up in my eyes. I was so sad.
Why were these feelings and thoughts coming to me now? Having another baby isn’t even on my radar right now.
With two embryos still frozen, I hope to be able to use them and have at least one more baby.
I think maybe those thoughts came to me because I need to be more here…. more now, enjoy what I have NOW.
With that said, I am also thinking others who are struggling with infertility. It is such an exhausting roller coaster. One that is fought by strong courageous women.
Even if infertility is not your struggle, and I hope its not, here’s to enjoying your now, no matter what you have on your plate.
Newborn pictures by bCouture Photography.
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My daughter is going through this now and I know how hard it is. As you said, it is very emotional and a struggle that no one knows how you are feeling.
So glad it all worked out for you.
Bev
So sorry to hear about your daughter. My heart seriously goes out to her. If you has some time, I wrote my whole story down and it’s posted here on the blog. Sometimes hearing others stories can help. Hoping all works out good for her.
Dealing with infertility is something I could have never in a million years guessed I would someday be faced with. It’s good to know I am not alone because I all too often feel so isolated in my struggle with this. I would never wish this pain anyone, not even my worst enemy. You give me hope that there might be a light at the end of my long, dark, expensive tunnel. Thank you.
~Trisha
Trisha thanks for your comment! I am with you, I never thought in a million years that I would be dealing with this either. It is good for us to stick together and boost each other up. It’s tough, no doubt about it. It’s so nice to have others to share our story and our trials with. Hang in there girl!
I cannot imagine the pain of infertility… My heart breaks for women who want children and cannot have them. It is such a good reminder to enjoy the moments that we have, however small they may be. It is also an excellent reminder to be grateful for our blessings. Thanks for sharing with us at Merry Monday!
Thanks for your comment Marie. Infertility is something that I NEVER EVER thought that I would have to deal with. It still is a little bit surreal to me. I am grateful every day for these two wild little ones. My heart also goes out to all the women out there who are still struggling.
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